A project
Inevitably at some point in his life, a budding actuary gets delusions of grandeur and thinks he can write a book. This has occurred to me at the ripe age of 22, and so I have begun to write a story. I’ve finished the first chapter and I’d love it if you let me know what you think about it. Please be gentle though, it is the first time I’ve written before. I have no doubt there will be errors and I think the whole thing needs to be refined and tightened up a bit, but I hope you’ll enjoy it nevertheless. I’d appreciate any comments, suggestions or criticisms (as long as there aren’t too many). So please, print it off, sit down on your favourite chair, with a glass of wine on a rainy afternoon and read. If you need further motivation to read it, you might like to know that there is a steamy love scene at the end of the chapter ;)
Anyway, here is the link.
http://gargomania1story.blogspot.com
Inevitably at some point in his life, a budding actuary gets delusions of grandeur and thinks he can write a book. This has occurred to me at the ripe age of 22, and so I have begun to write a story. I’ve finished the first chapter and I’d love it if you let me know what you think about it. Please be gentle though, it is the first time I’ve written before. I have no doubt there will be errors and I think the whole thing needs to be refined and tightened up a bit, but I hope you’ll enjoy it nevertheless. I’d appreciate any comments, suggestions or criticisms (as long as there aren’t too many). So please, print it off, sit down on your favourite chair, with a glass of wine on a rainy afternoon and read. If you need further motivation to read it, you might like to know that there is a steamy love scene at the end of the chapter ;)
Anyway, here is the link.
http://gargomania1story.blogspot.com
posted by Travvy at 8:32 pm
3 Comments:
Travis,
An interesting read, most definitely, especially when I'm sitting in my office chair pondering which mundane piece of work I should attend to in the next minute.
Will provide some feedback when I get to the end of the chatper. But to start of with, I really like the way you write (re your previous blog entries) and I could almost see myself there through your words. Good stuff!
=) Look forward to your next chapter!
Winnie
Hey Trav,
Its an interesting world you've painted here...can't wait to read more about it - reminds me of a cross between "the matrix" and the movie "the island". Its very depressing though - you can't be who you want to be and its very "big brother".
Just one thing though - why does the first female character have to be an object of desire? Hopefully she'll gain a bit more depth, but I guess you had to set the scene first :)
Kim.
Glad you guys (well Kim and Winnie) liked it.
Chris... I don't know where to start with that. Stripes Vs Polka-dots indeed. Besides, it's not just blue, it is 'stewart blue'... 'stewart blue'!
Hmm yeah perhaps I could have introduced the first female character in a different way. I think I wanted to highlight the way that women are sometimes quite unfairly seen in the corporate world as objects of desire and are not given the respect they deserve. Don't worry though, she does play a large and meaningful role later on I suspect.
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